Friday, November 14, 2008

Bad Mommy

So we had our regular doctor's check up yesterday. I was mildly chastised for gaining too much weight. As if I didn't already feel huge! I have gained 43 lbs. I have 6 weeks to go. It was highly depressing. I was told to cut back on carbs. If I stayed home all day and could devote all my time to preparing healthy meals and shopping for fresh produce (I was so spoiled in California, NY produce is terrible), then it wouldn't be too difficult.

I keep getting told what I can't eat...then chastised for my weight. But I can't eat all the things I used to...and some things I used to eat gross me out right now (salad is a big one). I try and do everything right- exercise, floss, avoid a multitude of foods... At the same time I am working full time, running usual errands, going to the doctor twice a month, scheduling appointments with pediatricians, taking an online course, attending birthing classes, trying to plan for holidays, preregistering at the hospital, contacting the insurance, the short-term disability people, layoffs are taking place at my work and we are shortstaffed... then of course, I am trying to prepare the nursery, make time for my husband and I... and I am exhausted quite frankly. In my 8th month I would like to get more sleep. I come home around 7:30 pm or 8 pm...and my doctor suggests I make my food from scratch. So I cook after a full day's work and a 45 minute to 1 hour commute, then clean up...and go to bed by when? Sheesh!

If I am in the NY area during a future pregnancy, I think I will seek out a doctor or midwife that is also a mom. Perhaps she will be more understanding and realistic. The medical books say one thing, but the reality is never that simple.

Isn't it amazing how many of my generation survived pregnancy and childhood? Our moms were wild and recklessly drinking down sodas and having cold cuts! Not to mention consuming alcohol and smoking. Then we come into a world where playgrounds are laid with asphalt and we slide down burning hot metal slides on a sunny days. And car seats? Forget about 'em. And I need to lay off the bread? The sandwich (without cold cuts mind you) is the quickest homemade thing I can make. Now what do I do? Our daughter will enter this world with a mom made paranoid about food restrictions and guilt-ridden about not following all the endless doctor guidelines during pregnancy. She'll arrive in a sterile hospital and find herself carted away in a car seat, bundled up in a swaddle cloth, and living in a santizer-crazy world. She'll grow up with plastic slides and that soft-foam pseudo-asphalt they use on playgrounds now. The kid will be soft. That's not childhood.

All right, I know I am being silly...but sometimes I feel all the doctor advice gets to be a little silly. It's all too much. Isn't stressing out the mom bad too? What about sleep deprivation? Sleep is still important right? There needs to be a balance with a dose of realistic expectations. Or else every expectant mother should have a housekeeper and chef assigned for the duration of pregnancy, paid in full by insurance.

Okay. Enough. I need to go lay my large butt on the couch. My ankle is swollen, I have a headache, and I would love a good long nap!

- Shana

1 comment:

Jim said...

Do the yoga. If you are in tune with your body, it will guide you better than the doctors. Doctors only have a decade or two of experience; Your body contains hundreds of thousands of years of human experience and wisdom that you are passing on to your daughter.
Love you, Jim